Friday, June 27, 2008

now that things have settled down, I can well and truly pen my thoughts on the accident. I cannot relate what exactly happened (my version) during the accident as it is still undergoing investigation, but maybe I can shed some light on why I do what I do.

This is my second close brush with an accident in less than a year, my second witnessing of someone whom I care for getting hit by a vehicle. Both times it could well easily have been me lying by the road.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

Immediately post accident, I always struggle to reconcile with the realities of the sport that we love. Until the day you've been involved in a crash, it always seems as though we're living on borrowed time. Well and true, we love and enjoy what we're doing, but I ask myself if we've really thought for the people who care for us, people such as our parents and loved ones. Is it fair for them, if one day, something bad really happens?

Where lies the line between living for yourself and living for others?

Accident, as defined by Cambridge Dictionary means "something which happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, and which often damages something or injures someone." Yet even in accidents, there will always be someone at fault in causing the accident.

My answer, to the question of living for yourself or for others is this.
First you have to answer to yourself why you do the thing you do. Only then can you think about convincing the ones you love, the justification for the sport you pick up. Accidents will happen, but it is well and truly up to us to minimize the the possibilities of causing it. Then decide, if you'd rather live for yourself or for the someone whom you love and care for.

But once the decision has been made, you don't look back. That's the only way you avoid regrets. In a way, decision making has the hallmarks of riding a bike. You can't stare back too long when you're riding, you can only glance back, or you'd crash. The best way to ride is to stare straight ahead and pedal the hell away.

I will never truly escape the fear of a major accident; but it is that same fear that keeps me on the tip of my toes, checking, riding, making sure all bases are covered.

At the same time, the exhilaration, the freedom of being on the bike. Absolutely priceless.
There aren't many things in the world that I'd trade it for.

Posted by Xihao at 9:33 AM