Saturday, August 2, 2008

maybe because we are more than halfway there, that my thoughts begin to shift towards the homecoming rather than the day to day struggle of our existence.

i suppose it will be nice, in the way that birthdays and other such events are nice but the next day things will be the same again and we will have returned to our same existence. we broke away, and we flew, but... will we be pulled back yet again?

here is a story: 13 people met and decided to go on a bicycle ride for charity. along the way they met many obstacles and they overcame some of them (with some yet to come). they were, are, weary but yet they push on. they inspire youths, the money they raise go to charity. everyone is happy.

that's a story but i wonder if that is real, in the same way that our breakaway so far is real.

heres another story: 13 people met and decided to go on a bicycle ride for charity. along the way, they were tired, they got pissed and irritated at each other. they wanted to just throw their bicycles away and go home, their minds numbed by the hopeless roads and the unyielding winds.

and another: 13 people met. or actually, they got together because someone called someone who called someone. some people have a pure love for charity, some have a pure love for cycling. some have a pure love for suffering. they decide to fuse everything and chaos happens.

is our break away real or will things go back to what they were before we jumped away?

i suppose that is the real question isn't it? not whether we can achieve this ( its not that big a deal anyway) but what happens next. we flew towards the sun, and like icarus our wings are melting and everyone is wondering if we can save ourselves from ourselves. from our existence.

the greatest fear is that we would have been unchanged by this. now that would be the greatest pity, because it was supposed to have been life changing, right?? or is it just good enough to have lived through it and tell many stories, like the few i've been telling so far. do you think its enough?

or not really think about what we have done and what this means for us in the future. that would also be a pity. and its not cos we don't think or are unable to think, but i kinda believe that its the fear of living your life always breaking away, never looking back. people like to be comfortable. hell, i like to be comfortable. im afraid i will be ok with being comfortable. i am afraid i will not have the strength to break away.

but then again, that is another story and ours has yet to end.

till then.

Posted by Anonymous at 5:59 PM